Laundry
by AnkouBlake
Summary: Just a one shot crack fic. Bella does the laundry when something disastrous occurs. How will a Newborn Bella handle the situation? R & R is much appreciated.


**Title:** Laundry

**Summery:** Bella does the laundry when something disastrous occurs. How will a Newborn Bella handle the situation?

**Notes:** Inspired by true events involving my friends and I. Set sometime after Breaking Dawn, while Bella is still a Newborn.

**Disclaimer: **Bella, Alice and all other Cullen family members belong to Stephanie Meyer. I just use them for fun.

* * *

"Bella," Alice sighed as she watched her best friend and sister-in-law load the washing machine, "How many times have I told you not to do this?"

"Alice," Bella offered her own sigh, "I _like_ these clothes and would like to wear them again and they need to be washed."

"But they're not even dirty," Alice huffed.

Bella gave her a look and Alice sighed again.

"Alright, fine," Alice gave up, "It's your own time that you're wasting."

"All we have is time," Bella retorted, pulling out the previous load of laundry from the dryer, "I might as well waste some of it on the 'trivial,' as you call it."

"You need a hobby," Alice rolled her butterscotch eyes, "You know, like Rosalie has her cars and Edward has his music."

"Maybe I could make this my hobby," Bella smiled.

"Why do you always have to be so difficult?" Alice grumbled.

"Why don't you make yourself useful and help me fold," Bella replied.

"No way," Alice shook her head, "This is your hobby, not mine."

Alice skipped merrily over to the kitchen island and sat on one of the stools, watching her sister in the laundry room. Bella huffed at her and turned her attention to folding her clothes. It took her less time that it used to when she had been human, that is, until she reached the bottom of the basket.

"You have got to be kidding me," Bella groaned.

"What?" Alice smirked, already seeing what had happened milliseconds beforehand.

Bella held up a jumbled mass of brightly colored fabric. Alice burst into a trill of laughter at seeing Bella's face.

"It's not funny," Bella snapped.

"Yes, it is," Alice giggled.

Bella hissed at her and turned her attention to the knot in her hands, studying it to try and find the easiest way to undo the mess. She picked at one piece of ice blue lace and yanked, effectively binding the knot tighter together. Bella huffed and turned the ball around, trying a different angle, maybe.

"Really?" She snarled, causing Alice to giggle again.

Bella tugged and pulled and picked but none of it seemed to be working. She growled low and menacing at the offending fabric mass in utter frustration.

"She's growling now," Alice sniggered, "Listen to her!"

"You'd be growling too if all of your bras got hooked together!" Bella replied curtly.

"No, I wouldn't," Alice countered, "Because a, I wouldn't have tried to wash them in the first place and b, even if I did, I would just take the bra lump and throw it away and then go shopping for new ones."

Bella ignored her and hooked her finger through a wayward strap and began shaking it violently in an attempt to untangle it. Another low growl rumbled through the small room and Alice had to cover her mouth to keep from laughing.

"What's going on?" Came Emmett's voice from the kitchen.

"Nothing," Bella snarled at him, "Go away."

Emmett's head popped into view where he took one look at Bella, seated in the middle of the laundry room floor, a pile of knotted bras in her hand, and burst into thunderous laughter. Emmett's booming barks were echoed by Alice's wind chime giggle.

"It's. Not. Funny," Bella snapped.

They only laughed harder. Bella glared at them and then back at the ball in her hands. Her vampire vision could detect a thinner piece of dusty rose lace and her jaw snapped open.

"Oh no, it's got my underwear, too," she frowned.

Emmett was sent into another fresh bout of laughter, holding his sides and shaking violently. Bella tried to extricate that bit of clothing and failed again. Anger washed over her and she let off a predatory yell of frustration before she began to furiously pull the mass apart. Bits of multi-hued fabric clouded the air as Bella massacred her underthings, her Newborn strength getting the best of her.

"Hey, while you're shredding things to bits, I've got this old stereo that I've been wanting to get rid of," Emmett chortled.

Bella looked up at him, covered in colorful fabric and bits of under wire and frowned, disappointed and a little embarrassed about her outburst.

"I liked those," she pouted.

Alice dramatically held her hands to her temples and closed her eyes, "I foresee a shopping trip. Yes! And ooh, what luck, there's a sale at Victoria's Secret."

Emmett wandered back into the living room, his laughter echoing in his wake as Alice hopped off her seat and danced after him. Bella was left sitting in the mess she had made, a frown on her face as Edward came through the back door with Renesmee in his arms. He walked over to the laundry room, took one look at the scene and Bella could tell that he was trying very hard not to laugh as he looked down at her.

"Doing laundry again?" He smirked, before recognizing exactly what lay in tatters all over the floor, "Too bad. I liked those."

Bella groaned as she stood up and trudged out of the room to find a broom and a dust pan.

* * *

**AN:** Yep, that really happened, you know, minus the vampire strength and stuff. Some direct quotes are in there, as well:

"She's growling now. Listen to her!" - Jodi

"You'd be growling too if all of your bras got hooked together!" - Katie

My friend did eventually get the mess straightened out. Hope you enjoyed that.


End file.
